Doubt

Then you realize, which can be a good thing, or not–that you have this bad writing habit.  Mine?  I repeat repeat words.  Too often.  Sometimes I will even repeat ideas in the same paragraph.  On a read through, after the initial writing, it’s painfully obvious.

Funny…the writing feels so good but when you step back and look at it, you’re consumed with doubt.  I’ve been in a funk lately and this new realization has slowed my writing stamina a bit.  Yes, forge on, rah, rah, I know.  But do you ever have those days when doubt shadows your writing confidence like the late afternoon sun in November?

Right now, I’m going through a big doubting phase and I haven’t been this down in a while.  In fact, just a few weeks ago I was on this euphoric, “Wow, poetry is great and I am a poet and surely I have talent of some kind.”  Maybe it was the rejection from a publication other than my own literary magazine.

Maybe it was three different editors telling me I make the same mistakes over and over again.  What is the cure?  A closer reading?  A new approach?

I still get up most days of the week and write in the morning hours.  Do you ever write, all the while knowing it’s not good writing?  Sometimes it’s just important to get the stream of consciousness (however repeated) on the page before you fix it.  I like to think that way you can glean the gem from the mess of repeated debris that lies on top of it.

But lately, I’ve had a hard time seeing through the debris.  Any suggestions?

Be well, embrace poetry always, and keep writing,

Rachael

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